Sustainable Resilience

 

 

I want to focus this week on how to build greater resilience into our journey of faith.  I have noticed that resilient people possess certain characteristics and abilities that enable them to weather difficult experiences and benefit from them.  One of these is having realistic expectations. 

Expectations are strong beliefs, that something will happen or something will be the case in the future.  Expectations can be good or bad.  They can guide us in our decisions or help us to develop goals and objectives for ourselves and our ministry. 

I became aware of the role of satisfaction in expectations through a Bible Study Fellowship (BSF) group studying Genesis.  Last week one of the ladies in the group shared that when God rested from His work of creation, “He was satisfied”.  I think she meant that God saw what He had created and He felt satisfied and so He was able to rest from His work.  This resonated with me and as I gave it more thought, it occurred to me that satisfaction in our work is sometimes hard to find.   If God can feel satisfied with what He accomplished why can’t I?  Sometimes it’s because our expectations are so high that satisfaction is elusive.  How do we know when we are finished?  High expectations just keep us moving the bar higher and higher.  I know because I have really high expectations of myself, it got worse after my stroke.  I lost the ability to move my left arm & leg in a matter of minutes and the ability to do so many things.  After spending 6 months in rehabilitation I was able to walk and was re-learning how to live without the use of my left arm.  Unfortunately, I felt that I had to keep proving to myself & others that I could still do the work of a missionary.  What a nightmare!   I should have given myself more grace but high expectations kept me from seeing the good and being satisfied with what I was able to do, rather than focusing on what was lacking. 

Expectations and beliefs start in our thoughts and move into our actions.  The challenge of the missionary task is that it is endless cycle of need and activity.  Added to this bottomless to-do list is the cultural ambiguity we encounter as we interact with others. When things are ambiguous it makes it hard to know what you have accomplished.  If we have appropriate expectations as we set our goals, a goal accomplished contributes to our sense of satisfaction.   

Notice that when our expectations are appropriate we have feelings of satisfaction.   The key is to have expectations that are appropriate and realistic.  Everyone has expectations, we just have to learn how to keep them within reason.      

Ron Koteskey wrote about expectations in What Missionaries Ought to Know About Expectations.   You can find it on his website www.missionarycare.com.  He offers these suggestions to keep our expectations reasonable:

·         Ask others. You are not the only person involved in missions; ask those who are in the positions you anticipate filling. When you get answers about what to expect, do not think it will necessarily be different for you.

• Develop a long-term view. Remember that we all stand somewhere between the first three chapters of Genesis and the last three chapters of Revelation. God has been working on his plan of redemption for thousands of years, and you will not accomplish the redemption of the world alone in one lifetime.
• Remember that everything takes much time. Learning a language and culture are long term projects never really completed. Relationships are important and take time. The hassles of daily living in many cultures take time. Paper work is necessary and takes time. Contact with supporters takes time.
• Learn interdependence, not independence. Rather than trying to do things yourself, realize that you really do depend on other people, and they depend on you.

·         When you set time frames and goals, be sure to set sub-times and sub-goals as tiny steps to get to the larger ones. Estimate how long it will take you to reach the goal; then at least double the time and triple the cost; then feel successful if you achieve that.  I would add that you should celebrate each time you meet one of those sub-goals. 

So if you want to build greater resilience in your missionary journey, consider what your expectations are.  Use these suggestions to help you set realistic expectations for yourself.  Give yourself grace so that you can experience more satisfaction in your ministry.  Remember sustainable resilience is a long term process, it’s the small steps that help us get there!

And until next time, you’re on a great journey of faith keep moving forward!